My Sony Ericsson cell phone can play MP3's, and it comes with BlueTooth technology, which means you can transfer files with machines equipped with the same technology.  Really, BlueTooth is just a fancy word for transfering files using infrared. 

So this morning I placed the phone right next to the laptop, and the laptop detected an infrared device nearby and asked me if I wanted to send files that way.  I clicked yes and chose the file "Fly Me To The Moon - Tony Bennett.mp3" which happened to be on the Windows desktop.

5 minutes later, Fly Me to The Moon was on the phone.  I clicked play.  To my horror, Tony Bennett started belting out the classic song at the loudest ringer volume!  Everyone in the office was looking at my cubicle, which is usually very quiet.  In a fit of panic, my mind went blank and I totally forgot how to turn the volume down or stop the song.  I completely didn't know what to do.

" ... IT TAKES THOUGHS AND TIME AND RHYMMMME, TO MAKE A POEM SINGGGG ... "

Oh my gosh, what should I do?  Think.  THINK!

"... FLYYYYY ME TO THE MOOOOON ..."

So I sat on the phone and my ass muffled it until it finished playing.  I bet Tony didn't think I would interpret his song this literally.

1. Those kids shoes with little blinking lights - where does the electricity comes from to power the LEDs?  Do they run on batteries?  Energizers or rechargeable?  Do they have to "recharge" their shoes at night like you would a cell phone?  Or does the kid's feet  stomping generates the power?  There must be a teeny weeny generator that transforms the stomping kinetic energy into electrical power.  Know what'd sell like hot potatoes in Walmart?  Stomping-powered anti-gravity boots.
2. Girls with cosmetic eyelid surgery - Presumably with a portion of their eyelids removed, there's less skin to stop their eyeballs from falling out of the sockets.  Do these girls experience a pull on their eyeballs by centrifugal force as they jerk their heads from one side to another like one would in a shampoo commercial?

The RealPlayer:

and...

dA ReAL pLAyA:

Five California porn actors have been tested positive for the HIV virus in May.  The brief outbreak practically brought the whole porn film industry to a complete halt for weeks.  I read on yahoo that they just started shooting movies again, read it here.

And here is an excerpt that I think is very interesting:

"Dr Mitchell says that she thinks the HIV scare will lead to more frequent testing of porn stars. Additionally, Dr. Mitchell's clinic is putting together a database of which performers have had sex with other performers and the type of sex they had during productions to better track any future spread of HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases."

When I read the bold underlined section, I immediately thought about how to design this porno database.  I'd design the "actor table" of which the schema includes vital info like cup size and/or girth.  Every fuckable opening on an actor's body is assigned a number and stored in a "orifice table".  Every intercourse that took place in a porno is recorded in the "event" table.  An event record includes attributes such as an array of participating actor records (with giver/receiver distinction), an array of orifices explored, boolean handcuffs (true/false), boolean facial (true/false), and such.

I'd call it this database "The W4" - Who-shagged-Whom-and-Which-Way-in.

There's a brand new gym at where I work.  It's free of charge to employees, which is nice, but I find very little use of it.  I don't go to that gym because I believe a work-out session should be a mix of working out and losing yourself in nice distractions.  Believe me, a gym full of computer programmers has nothing to offer in terms of eye candy.

My apartment building also has a gym, and I'm paying management fee for it, so I guess I really should be using it.  Well I'm not using it yet, but that's a different story. 

Now that I think about it, the company gym really isn't free per se.  It obviously requires various costs to maintain and operate it, and the company is paying for that cost, just like I'm paying my management fee to keep the apartment gym running (har har pardon the pun).  But since I'm not using it, shouldn't I get a "refund" from my boss?

Boss: hey you're fat.

Me: yeah I know.  *jiggle jiggle*

Boss: You're not using the company gym, are you?

Me: Nope not at all.  Can I get a raise?

Boss: Done deal.  You'll see it in the next pay.